Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
