after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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