That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
