Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize