This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
