she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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