HIV tests are more positive than that guy
420 ftw
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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