Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
