you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
