Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
There's always time for handjobs
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
