When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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