sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Randomize
