If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He shit in the fireplace
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
