The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
