I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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