I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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