Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
