some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
