Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
