I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
