fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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