week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
