I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
