She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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