My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
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I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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