70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
