My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i came on her dog
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize