their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
