So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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