I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
