end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
