i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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