I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
