If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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