i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
