I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
