He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
