the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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