All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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