That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
