I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
