Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
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I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
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I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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