I wannas sexs uuuuu
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
