i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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