North Korea, Best Korea!
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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