And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
