bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
