We're facebook friends in real life
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
