i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize