i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
