She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize