You can't motorboat a personality
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
