I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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