PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
