so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
