Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
