Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
