Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
