The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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