Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
