I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
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