Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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