WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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