she smelled like a LAN party
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Naked Twister starts at high noon
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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