dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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