Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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