My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
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You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
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Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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