I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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