no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
